Monday, February 13, 2012

Do you really need a particular day...???


Now friends before you go ahead and get judgmental, let me tell you that I am neither a "religious fundamentalist" nor a "rabid nationalist", who is opposed to each n every "western import" as principle. Rather on the contrary, I am  a normal person who happen to be walking hand in hand with changing times and never appreciate those FATWAS preaching about how the women should be kept confined within the fore walls, but yet I don't like the concept of Valentine's Day... I am not saying that I hate it but somehow I detest it and feel that there is no need to mark any particular day in 365 days to show our love n affection for someone we really love....

Now before you mark me as someone who is quite old or traditional in his thoughts about social values and morality of life allow me to explain why I detest the concept of Valentine's day.....


First of all I am not saying that you should not take time to show your love n affection for your spouse but do you really need a specific day to do so...??? Well, I think in no way you need any particular day to make the person feel special whom you love.... Shouldn't that just be a part of relation anyway...??? Because I personally believe that two human in relation, already love each other, otherwise there wouldn't be any relation.


It makes me sick when I see people running around proclaimimg their love and pleading their eternal allegiance to one another and I seriously feel that if someone truly care about you then you should hear it more often than once a year with heart shaped cardboard box....

Moreover I think that Valentine's day is created simply for the merchandising industry as a mechanism for separating us from our hard earned money...... The greeting card industry rakes in billions as crazy lovers all over the world queue up to buy those cheesy n pricey cards and moreover a card alone is not adequate enough to satisfy your loved one because you are expected to fork over for bigger and even more expensive n glittering gifts to prove your love for the recipient....

Now the interesting side of the Valentine's day story is that in my view it is one of the most sexist things because its always men(in most of the cases) who have to find some way for making this day a memorable one.... Its the men who have to come up with the grand gesture or the pricey glittering present  and all the women need to do is show up and look appreciative as all the attention is on them....Why it is so, when they spend entire year claiming about equality....??? :)

Sorry for the rant friends, but for me February 14th is just another day, doing all the things that I normally do.... reading the morning news paper over a hurried cup of tea, attending all routine work at the workplace and try getting home in time to spend some blissful moments with family and have dinner with them at home itself. Because I strongly believe that it should not be just one day in the whole year  when we show our love for our spouse rather it is something one should be doing all the year around, that too not with red roses, greeting cards, chocolates or expensive meals butttttttttttttt with kindness, understanding, patience and affection........

Moreover a heartfelt hug is always better than those glittering pricey gifts........isn't it....???


******************************




66 comments:

  1. I am an American woman and I could not agree more. I feel it is a way to be separated from our money and separated from the true romance of our love. Randy and I share a beautiful relationship and love. We hold hands, say please and thank you, hug. do things for each other 365 days a year. Randy brings me things that he finds, I love rocks, he travels in his truck all over the western states and brings me special rocks from the different places he goes. It is never rushed, I love the rocks, and I love him for thinking of me in one of the few peaceful moments he has while working. Thank you for this post.

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    1. its so good to know about you n Randy....and this is what true love is all about...there must not be any place for formalities n show off.....
      Thanks for the visit n lovely comment here...:)

      Delete
  2. You are right, its just another day...yet the media creates unnecessary pressure on young minds....

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  3. I too called it a ridiculous day until I read the history behind the Valentine's Day. For what St. Valentine's Day is cherished is far deviated from what it was actually celebrated.
    Different parts of the world with-holds different meanings of this day. In Finland, people celebrate it with their family.

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    1. I agree, there is nothing wrong if you celebrate it in true senses but the way it is being celebrated with the influence of market is something bothers me a lot....Thank you dear.

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  4. I agree totally..An eternal feeling called as Love don't need a support of a particular day.. Love can be celebrated every moment wen the feelings for that special one is true.. Nor I am against celebrating Valentines Day. If people feel happy in celebrating it then they definitely has to do it:) Even I have similar ideas of posting a post on dis particular subject but slightly in different ways..
    Nice Post:)

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    Replies
    1. of course celebrating Valentines day is not at all wrong but its commerce part is taking it into wrong direction...will read ur post, thank you. :)

      Delete
  5. Absolutely true! Those who are truly in love doesn't wait for this particular day to express... and a feeling is some thing we can't repeat it as same as it was felt and if it has been done, its quite fake to impress the another. Wonderful post on the Pre-Valentine's day and the message of true love.

    Have a lovely day as always :)

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  6. Justified arguments but still if some happiness can be extracted out of a day, there should be no problem. Yes, problem starts when the fun of this day is made by making boorish expression of love through expensive gifts. As you said, pure affection can't be substituted by any of artificial gifts.

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    1. oh yes Neeraj, no problem with celebrating it in true senses for the cause of blissful moments in life but what about the show off involved into it with all those pricey n costly gifts....
      Thank you.

      Delete
  7. Its more of a drama I see it as .. and who came out with this day we all say at top of our voice we dont want to follow western this or that yet we follow this day.

    You treat each other so bad all the time and come this day a bunch of roses make it all so perfect ..


    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. and how those roses or anything similar can make things perfect, when there is no feeling or emotion poured into it.....

      Thank you Bikram.

      Delete
  8. Even I don't understand the fuss about 14th Feb... It is just another day which has been over hyped by the media...

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  9. I beg to disagree Irfan. I find it odd how people could be loving and cynical at the same time. While it is true that people tend to commercialize Valentine's Day ~ taking advantage of people's show of affection, this day is marked as special the way one celebrates a monthsary,anniversary, Christmas and other occasions.

    We should be aware who's feast we celebrate this day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day).

    Love goes beyond mere romanticism but it doesn't take away anything from us ~ allow people to be happy this day ;)It adds spice to a relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well, there is nothing wrong in showing ur love n feelings in any day for that matter but it should be done on the demand of merchandisers or just to be in lime light of the world....let the spices be added in true senses :)

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  10. Media hype and a waste of money. I would rather buy flowers if I really want to 1 day ahead or before. Why fill the coffers of these companies?

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    1. Exactly...Thanks for the read Rachna ji :)

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  11. Dont be surprised if media gets sponsors to ensure all day coverage on such days.
    I for one,well,everyday is same as long as your loved ones are with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very true...al 365 days are filled with love if love is actually there between the two.....Thank you :)

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  12. One could not agree more, Irfan ji ! Every word is well taken ;but , a hug heartfelt or otherwise has always eluded me -it's will- of -the- wisp for me. Sad, I have to fantasize about small things also !

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    Replies
    1. hahaa....i wish you get one soon and that too a heart felt only.....:))

      Delete
  13. There is so much of hype around this Day. To some extent I agree, to some extend I don't. Just as you said, there is no need of a special day to celebrate your Love. But then someone also said, " Air is everywhere, but we need a Fan to Feel it".

    I'm always confused whether I am for or against this day. But when its given undue importance, It gets on my nerves!

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    Replies
    1. oh yaa....there is nothing wrong in doing that but again as you said undue importance must be avoided....Thank you.

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  14. Agree Irfan! At the same time it shows the vulnerability of gullible minds to be swayed. For the real lovers each day is a Valentine:)

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    Replies
    1. exactly, for real ones each day is a V/day....Thank you :)

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  15. completely with you on this Irfanji

    itna commercial , money-making venture ho gaya ki i read in Femina that in Colaba(Bombay) a five-star hotel has arranged a V day special meal costing Rs 3.5 lakhs!!!!!!!! AND there are orders for it!!! meri toh aanken bahar aa gayi padke

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    Replies
    1. 3.5 LLlaaaaaakkkhhsssss......OMG...!!! UNBELIEVABLE......

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    2. What is the basis for pricing of Rs.3.5 lakhs?

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    3. spices of gold, aroma of silver and food must be beautiful like of diamonds. hehehehe.

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  16. It is true that everyday is a Valentine Day for those who are in love with each other and we don't need to celebrate it with flowers ,expensive gifts etc etc.It felt beautiful when Chandan came near and whispered 'Happy Valentine Day 'to me at a very busy time when we were rushing for work in the morning .These 'choti choti se bateein' does add romance to a relation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. of course and if couple start valuing these "choti choti batein"....life can be much more merrier....

      btw good to see you here...how are you doing Kavita ji..??

      Delete
  17. almost everyone agrees that there is no need for a ssingle day to be market to express such love..mother's day doesnot mean other days she is not a mom..but well boss..if v take it cool, even these days can add to the fun..i think..haha

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    Replies
    1. of course, provided we take them cool and not get pushed by the market forces....Thank you.

      Delete
  18. St. Valentine's day is for christians. Without understanding the significance celebrating it or propogating about it is wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi...welcome here at APNiBOLi....Plz do come again..THank you.

      Delete
  19. I do agree with your prospective on Valentine's day!
    Just few gifts and roses can not behold the strength of beautiful relations but with the bonding of hearts with love and faith!
    And such love do not need such days to express the love...

    Liked your idea of expressing and spreading love :)

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    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it Simran...and btw where are you these days.....busy with studies or what...???

      Delete
  20. Valentine's day is just hyped up :) And the craze for it is worthless! Love is something which should not be celebrated for just a day :)

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  21. valentine's day has been over hyped by companies like hallmark. It is a business strategy, and is working for them...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. undoubtedly, it is working for them...thank you SUB..:)

      Delete
  22. I think one should not be bitter because of the money made out of this particular day. You can't stop people making a business out of it. it is okay if some people want to make money from this day, so what , let them make. If there are people to buy, then obviously there must be people to supply it to them.I cannot understand why people get so hyped by the celebration ad break their heads about this issue.
    Even Diwali, New year, Birthdays, Wedding Anniversaries,Christmas,Ugadi, Rakhabandhan and so on are celebrated with lot of hype by people who like to celebrate them by buying things on these occasions, so what is wrong, if we don't want to spend / waste money then we need not, why grudge the people who want to celebrate?
    We don't celebrate Diwali,or for that matter any function, but we can't stop people form celebrating them.
    If some people make money why should they not make money, maybe these are god sent opportunities for them to make money.
    In India we have some festival or other every month, we also have so many holidays, what can we do about it , nothing.
    I feel we should not become judgemental of each and every issue for we have to remember all five fingers cannot be same.
    As some of your readers have expressed that on that particular day, if the husband / wife whispers some sweet nothings in their ears it does feel good, so it doesn't mean that they are showing their love only on that day,one just goes with flow and celebrates these new found days like everyone else. One may spend or may not spend, that should not be the issue here.
    I am sorry for such along comment. I didn't mean to offend you, I just generally got bugged by people becoming so much against everything without any rhyme or reason.

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    1. Well, all I intended to say here is that “One shouldn't have to need a day set aside to make the person he love feel special.”.... In my view that should be just a part of the relationship throughout the year.... Yes, whispering in each other’s ears is always good as it always help to maintain relations healthy n blissful, but do we really need to spend Lakhs of rupees for one dinner(one may argue that if he can afford then why can't spend? but there must be some justification for what we do) OR is there any valid logic in giving our blood-pumping organ shaped candies to be convinced that we truly love them? NO.... bcoz People in relationships already love each other and know it very well too.....this is what i feel and difference of opinion can always be there...there is nothing wrong into it :)

      And there is nothing wrong if the comment is lengthy as long as it is related to the post and in this case you are totally with the subject.....and I really appreciate ur honest views here.....Thank you.

      Delete
  23. We share similar thoughts.. V-day is a marketing gimmick played beautifully by MNC's. Also, I detest from the fact that V-day and family( Rose day and all ) holds the key to lovely companionship. Nevertheless, in the race to out due west youngster will celebrate it like Diwali. :P


    Weakest LINK

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    1. Glad, that you think same way Rachit.....:)

      btw how are you doing.... settled in ur new job...???

      Delete
  24. Totally support your take on V day. It somehow creates a class differential between those who can afford spending and those who can not- not good for an infant republic like ours. There doesn't have to be ONE day in the whole year to celebrate true love- ofcourse, I don't have to tell you how immature my generation is as far as love is concerned. But still there are some exceptional cases, as like in every generation.

    Having said that, however, it always is and will always remains a matter of personal choice. IF someone wants to go ahead, fine. But if someone asks- one must spell his stand as clearly as you have :) And yes, there is no prosthetic for spending time with wife and kids- my father says this all the time.

    Thank you for such a mature take

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  25. You are right- Valentine's day is all about markets and less about love! And yes it has a gender angle to it too- women have to be wooed while men have to invest on that. Look at it from the woman's angle. What if no man gives her a gift on Valentine's day - would she have the confidence to gift someone special something? I think social roles would make her hesitate before she did that!

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  26. Wonderful post sir !
    every day i love my mom, but only on MOTHERS day i say her HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !
    it doesn't mean that i love her on that particular day alone :)
    Similarly, we have everything happening everyday.
    we need a day to showcase ourselves !
    -Dee..

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  27. Do we need a particular day- No we don't
    than why all around world ppl celebrate it..
    coz it is basic human nature when we have a reason to do something we do it more passionately, with more expressions.

    just a reason to be more happy than sm other day. :)

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  28. oh we definitely don't need a particular day.. but its a feeling as similar to birthdays, festivals, etc.. dont you feel special on your birthday???.. in a similar way, i guess, those in"LOVE" feel its the best day to express themselves :P....

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  29. Hello Sir,

    I am feeling right now as u wrote exactly what i want to write, Congrats for writing such a wonderful post.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Sir,
    Apologies. Valentines day has gone. Gulaal is ready for application on Holi.

    ReplyDelete
  31. ek mahina ho gaya no new post Irfanji !

    ReplyDelete
  32. Where are you?
    Hope everything is fine ...
    Award is waiting for you :)
    http://myfriendshipsimran.blogspot.in/2012/03/awards-honor-and-tag.html

    ReplyDelete
  33. http://punamjr.wordpress.com/2012/03/25/i-have-been-tagged-again/
    You have been tagged, Irfan.
    Do take it up.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi Irfan, I just came back to see if you had taken up my tag and happened to read the post in which you wrote about the tragic fact that you had been robbed.. and I am so very sorry and sad to hear this. I hope you have come out of the shock and started a new journey.. Any amount of words might not make much difference to the one who is really going through the suffering, but please know that strength and prayers are being sent your way..
    Take care
    Punam

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  35. Irfanuddin,

    You may call me LATE LATIF but here I am. I agree with you that one does not day just one day in the whole year to show his love for partner. However we also tend to forget spirit behind Valentine's Day in the humbug of commercialization. This day is birthday of St Valentine who showed defiance to the ruler by uniting those in love and respect is to be paid to him on this day by showing more love to your partner.

    Take care

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  36. thanks irfanji for those consoling words..and sorry for late reply.just returned to sharjah..am really touched..will stay connected:)

    ReplyDelete

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