in our society Woman who is not legally related to an individual, but some how fall in love with a person who is already married is called "other woman".... As you all know, extra marital affair is not something very uncommon these days. In fact where ever you are, developed or under developed country these type of relations are very common to exist...
And because of some recent happenings at my work place my idle mind started thinking about the mental status of these so called 'Other Women", In fact one of the lady, who happened to be in relation with a married man, wanted social recognition of their relationship from him, but as usual the man being already married was not at all in a mood to surface their relationship story....
Now, you may agree that there is a general feeling that these "other women" devour on physical needs more than the mental attachment, but if you find and talk to some one who is indulged in such relationship, will find them saying that they are into it more for mental satisfaction and not for physical or anything else....
And after having a friendly chat with these people, i personally feel that, "Other women" comes in life due to lack of satisfaction from their legal partners, and this lack of satisfaction may not necessarily be SEX in most of the cases, in fact there may be plenty of sexual doses in their legal relationship, but what they find missing is the "mental angle" between them.
Lets not forget that these women, mostly when they are associated with a married man, are not only lonely but are also scorned by their near ones...and the first and foremost thing they want from their partner, apart from love is "true sense of identity and of course the meaning of the life that they lead".....
But how many of men can openly come out and say that they value the other women in their lives??? Perhaps no one, its the women who cries for the identity for rest of her life and men always enjoy their life with two women....his 'legal woman" and "other woman".....
But how many of men can openly come out and say that they value the other women in their lives??? Perhaps no one, its the women who cries for the identity for rest of her life and men always enjoy their life with two women....his 'legal woman" and "other woman".....
so true but not all 'other women' r tat sad bout teir condtn
ReplyDelete@desigirl.... agree with you..thanks a lot.
ReplyDelete:)) Interesting Thought! Nothing in life is black and white. I guess the women will always be blamed and rediculed. But I am sure the men will pay too! At some point in life. One way or another!
ReplyDeleteIrfan,
ReplyDeleteI do not believe extra marital affairs are common. I do not know a single person. It is good though.
I personally do not like the term 'other woman' or for that matter 'other man'.
Now if someone is unhappy or sad in their lives..does it give them right to make other unhappy and spoil others' lives?
I do not believe this behavior is justified.
There is difference between pity and love.
hmmm...scary...
ReplyDeleteIrfan,
ReplyDeleteThis time u chose a very different subject to write..the said Blogger's block seems to be good fr u..
yeah true no one comes out with that , they all try to hide it as long as they can ..
ReplyDeleteIts happiness i guess if you are not happy then why would you go looking for someone else .. and if one like another woman or man then they should part with the previous one and go for it ..
Bikram's
It's a long and slippery slope, and it only leads down.
ReplyDelete'other woman'is a very harsh word in our society..though such relations exist and now they are too open and easy to find. There can be many reasons for a man or woman to fall in this...u r rite 'sex' cannot always b the reason.... but i think rather than falling into this trap...partners must sit and talk about the matter...or otherwise life become hell for them and children suffer..
ReplyDeleteBut this also a fact that many people just coz they are not sexually satisfied with their partners and women indulge in such relations for monetary and other benefits. It is difficult to pass judgments though...but we must look forward to preserve this institution of marriage from all our hearts and if still thighs go unavoidable then must go through proper legal way
@Juxtaposition.... yes, anyone doing wrong has to pay, men or women... thank you.
ReplyDelete@ A.... yaa, of course it sounds harsh but fact is that they are called so....thank you.
@Thinking .... thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDelete@Tomz.... thanks dear :)
@Bikramjit.... coming out from existing legal relation is not that easy for them i think.... thank you.
@kavita ... thats true, thank you so much.
ReplyDelete@Swati.... you narrated it so well here..thank you.
True!
ReplyDelete@Simran.... thanks for the read Simran.
ReplyDeleteabsolutely right :) nice post !!!!
ReplyDeleteInteresting subject.. I really can't see ever being the other man! Loyalty is the basis for everything in life. If you are not loyal and ethical then you are nothing!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/06/something-completely-different-today.html
yes females want identity but society do not permit the man to give her that identity
ReplyDelete@Geeta Singh.... Thank you.
ReplyDelete@JIM.... yaa, one has to be loyal, be it in any realtion. thanks a lot.
@sm.... Thank you.
It is a very sensitive issue. We, generally, find it convinient to create such phrases.
ReplyDeletehas anyone evr spoke of the "Other Man"?
Let us be real
Being a married woman, of course, I wouldn't be happy if I find out that my husband is having an affair with another woman. There can be many reasons why people become involved in illicit dating or affair and I agree with you that sometimes, it's not just solely about 'sex'. It could be companionship, finding self-worth, and so on... But still those aren't enough reason to cheat.
ReplyDelete@Chowla Sir.... thats what i mean to say that its women who suffers and called with such phrases but no one perhaps bother to say any thing to the men involved into it...thank you sir.
ReplyDelete@Cee.... yes, whatever be the reason having illicit relations can't be justified, thanks a lot.
ReplyDeleteYou have touched a very sensitive topic and written so beautifully...its the woman who suffers a setback in her social standing, irrespective of her reasons for doing so. Its a no-win situation in the end for both.
ReplyDeleteIts always women are towards recieving end and outcome are worst ...... I could never understand why they do they it's lust, money or whatever .
ReplyDeleteInteresting read, controversial topic! I liked the way you did not hesitate to put your own view in the post:)
ReplyDelete@Alka Gurha.... undoubtedly, its no-win situation for both...even then they do so :(
ReplyDelete@Harman.... why they do??? perhaps, even they don't have the answer...
ReplyDelete@Nehha.... thanks for the read and appreciation :)
ReplyDeletehii
ReplyDeletei agree.
Please check out my views on the very same thing
pati patni aur woh
http://hummingwords.blogspot.com/2009/09/pati-patni-aur-woh_04.html
@AS.... what you said there at the given link is exactly i wanted to say that why MEN are not labeled as "WOH" or the "OTHER MAN"....why its the Lady only who always made responsible for breaking the home????
ReplyDeleteThis happens with married man and married woman as well. I would call it the Heights of hopelessness & Immaturity.
ReplyDeleteIrrespective of who takes the blame, I think the pressure from society makes people think a lot of times before getting into such stupid acts.
Destination Infinity
Irfan! I can never sympathize with someone who spoils the bonding of a marriage be it the wife or the husband of the "other woman" or "other man" for that matter.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is holy. No justification can be accepted for an extra marital affair.
@Destination Infinity.... perhaps they never think, if they think a little, will never do so... thanx for the visit, plz do come again.
ReplyDelete@NRIGirl.... yes, whatever may be the reason, the act can't be justified.... thank you.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic Irfan. Extra-marital affairs are always a mystry to people who have never visited that road.I guess, as you rightly pointed, when certain aspect of married life is unfullfilled, one starts seeking it from illegal partners.
ReplyDelete@Gautam.... wish one never visit this road n it remains a mystery...thanks a lot for yet another visit here.
ReplyDeleteHow truly portrayed Irfan. Very rarely do you get to see someone writing about and understanding the "other woman". Touched my heart.
ReplyDeleteHow truly portrayed Irfan. Very rarely do you get to see someone writing about and understanding the "other woman". Touched my heart.
ReplyDelete@Rimly.... Glad it did... :)
ReplyDeleteIt is a very different and interesting subject you have chosen and written so beautifully.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that extra marital affairs are common, but it is there when certain aspect of married life is unfulfilled from your legal partner either man or woman.
Well, I do not believe that extramarital affairs are very common though definitely not unknown. Man or woman when they get involved with someone married, there is heartache for all 3 parties. I would not make moral judgments here but it is a sad situation.
ReplyDeleteIrfan Ji,
ReplyDeleteI can openly come out and say what this topic wants me to say but my wife watches my activities regularly.
If there is any problem in future, I'll hold you responsible and you will have to take me out of any possible trouble, OK ?
@Imam Saheb.... but its always better to look at the cause and try to fulfill those short comings of the married life....
ReplyDeleteBtw glad to have you here again after a gap..do come again plz.
@Rachna.... yaa, its sad and even i never intended to be judgmental here, its only i wanted to share my view about the mental status of that woman....thank you.
ReplyDelete@STRANGER.... hhmmm...i can understand sir :)..... thank you.
I was reading a small book yesterday on "other women" and "men". It's a bit spiritual but is practical in many ways. I just have to ask myself many questions and I found out that in some ways loosing boundaries is a bit disturbing...
ReplyDeleteOne is it could happen to anybody and isn't planned...
Two, we talk so much about "other" women/men and seem to laud this kind of state... is this overrationalizing? and are we deeming it acceptable?
Three, it is a taboo and will always be in any Christian country. Fidelity and commitment to one's partner is important.
Four,by the way the book was written, it seems to be reprimanding women and actually points out the fact that women make themselves "very desirable" that men are tempted. I resent a bit of that although it could be true. But I also ask men to re-evaluate what they feed their hearts and minds and why they get themselves tempted.
Fifth, I wouldn't want to experience any of this. Not for myself nor my future husband.
I truly have many things to share but for now, let them be... these are just some of my thoughts.
Thanks for the post...
Hi irfaan,u r correct ki extra merital affair society me common ho gaya hai lekin main aap ki is feeling se agree nahi karti hoon ki"mental satisfaction "iska reason hai kunki mental satisfaction ka kya yahi ghalat or ghinona raasta hota hai darasal mard apne dil bahlaane ke tareeqe ko mental satisfaction ka naam de dete hain .
ReplyDeleteIrfaanji koi un mardon se pooche ki wo kya karen jinke husband ya father physical relation me nayapan laane ke liye doosri orton ka sahara lekar biwi bachchon ko mental stress me daal dete hain,wo biwi bachche mental satisfaction ke liye kahan jaayen.
"Other women" ki wajah se ghar ka maahol bigadta hoga,us ghar ki betiyon ko har mard apne father jaisa dhoke baaz lagta hoga jo unke future ke liye theek nahi hota hoga.
"Other Women" or aise so called shareef mard bhi samaaj ke liye kaala dhabba hain.ye waqui me samaj ke liye burning topic hai.
@Melissa.... i think you should write a post on it with ur point of views....and how about a guest post on this here, at my space....think of it....Thank you.
ReplyDelete@afshan.... i can feel your point afshan ji....its unfortunate really.. thank you.
ReplyDeletea tough topic that leaves one unable to decide on whose side exactly can be favoured.
ReplyDeletebut mostly women are the losers at the end of the day if at all their extra marital affairs are found out. no man likes the affair to be legalized and women get alienated from the society....
(to me honestly that does not sound sad though)
Women with low self esteem can become 'other woman'. But now a days women are living with pride and self respect . They do not easily fall in trap of wolves of this male dominating society.
ReplyDeleteIrfan,today I am really proud to have you in my group.Being a man,u have thought of something which even women consider below their dignity.All "other women"are not bad,why aren't the men blamed in this relationship...something must have driven this woman to go for it...It is disturbing to see that even women don't understand it.Very well done.
ReplyDeleteirfanji, a very nice post from a different angle, explained exactly the way it should be.
ReplyDeleteit is the change in social system that is causing the dissatisfaction to move out mentally and search for a dear one anywhere anyhow. physical needs are a part sometimes but a bond beyond all infertile relations is the cause behind. men and women both need security, not of money but of understanding. many couples hardly share few sentences or precisely are interested in each others conversation of how was your day? or how are you at the end of the day. this is where an other man or other woman is born.
..@irfan..I meant to say."why do they indulge into cheap acts and affairs...its sad!!
ReplyDeletecheating ..Men or Women ..for both its same.
This is a really good post and very valid observations. People stray from a relationship when they are unhappy in it or their needs are not being met. These days with so many of us spending more time at the work place with our colleagues than with our spouses at home, these relationships are on the increase. Your observation on how society treats the "other woman" is very true because a man can stray but if a woman gets involved with a married man she is shunned by all. I heard this somewhere- No third person breaks a marriage. A marriage is usually broken by the people in it.
ReplyDelete@Haritha.... very true you are...thnx a lot.
ReplyDelete@ZEAL.... well, its not always true that someone traps the women rather they do it willingly n without any pressure for that matter.
@Alpana Jaiswal.... yes, why aren't the men blamed in this relationship???
ReplyDelete@fantacy in practicality.... yes, lack of communication among the legal couples can be one important reason for ppl falling into extra marital relations, you rightly pointed out Sancheeta ji.
@@Harman.... i personally feel before falling into this relation they don't think much about WHY n HOW...and when they realize then its too late for them.....
ReplyDelete@Meera Sundararajan .... yes, if a marriage is broken then its done only bcoz of the ppl involved into it... thnx for the appreciations.
ReplyDeleteA very understanding post Irfan.. Though I agree to NRI Girl's view that marriage is holy and both husband and wife should stick to their promises
ReplyDelete@Stranger.... thank you so much, indeed they should stick but you know sometimes they just don't.....
ReplyDeleteTrue!
ReplyDeleteWow, marvelous blog layout! How lengthy have you been running a blog for?
ReplyDeleteyou make running a blog look easy. The whole look of your website
is excellent, as well as the content!
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